Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Israel.
In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver, “Say, is this really a healthful place?”
“It sure is,” the cabby replied. “When I came here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed.”
“That’s wonderful!” said the tourist, “How long have you been here?”
“I was born here.”
Another short post. I believe that God does have a sense of humor, how else can you explain zebras? And there is this: God gave me a love of music of all kinds and there is very little that I don’t listen to (there are exceptions and they are Rap music and Opera); I love music that I find on YouTube that is older than I am and a lot of music by folks that I have never heard of. (the other shoe dropping) however God did not give me any talent to play an instrument or to sing – yep my singing voice is terrible but I still sing if the right song is playing (Under the Boardwalk by the Drifters is one of them).
Remember Slow Food?
‘Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’
‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,
I informed him.
‘All the food was slow.’
‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’
‘It was a place called ‘at
Home,” I explained. !
‘Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levi’s, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.
In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.
I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)
We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 11.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.
I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called ‘pizza pie.’ When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers–my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 AM every morning.
On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren
Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother’s house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to ‘sprinkle’ clothes with because we didn’t have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5 Coffee shops or diners with table side jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8 Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11.. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels…[if you were fortunate)
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15.S&H green stamps
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
21. Roller skate keys
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You’re still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don’t tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You’ re older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.
Don’t forget to pass this along!!
Especially to all your really good
…you get a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
…CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
…Exxon-Mobil lays off 25 Congressmen.
…You see a polygamist with only one wife.
…the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
…McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
…Parents in Beverly Hills fire their nannies and learn their children’s names.
…A truckload of Americans are caught sneaking into another country
…When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
…A picture is now only worth 200 words.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
I’m a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
I don’t drink. I don’t like it. It makes me feel good.
What is a cat?
* Cats do what they want.
* They rarely listen to you.
* They’re totally unpredictable.
* They whine when they are not happy.
* When you want to play, they want to be alone.
* When you want to be alone, they want to play.
* They expect you to cater to their every whim.
* They’re moody.
* They leave hair everywhere.
* They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: They’re tiny little women in cheap fur coats
Do King James Only churches post their sermons on ThouTube?
Scandal at the National Amateur Handbell Choir Tournament. Looks like the winning team hired a couple of ringers.
If Trump would just identify as a woman, we’d have the perfect storm.
On the positive side, they’ve discovered a new perpetual energy source: All the founding fathers spinning in their graves.
First day of VBS, and I got 3 kids to rededicate themselves to staying off the lawn.
This election is pretty much proof that someone went back a million years in a time machine and stepped on a butterfly.
Lady next door uses a 24-hour lawn service. Doesn’t bother me, except when . . . In the midnight hour, she cries, “Mow, mow, mow!”