A Little Humor

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Oneliner #1021
If you love something, let it go: unless it’s balloons.
You know the economic recession has really gotten bad when:

…you get a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

…CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

…Exxon-Mobil lays off 25 Congressmen.

…You see a polygamist with only one wife.

…the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

…McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

…Parents in Beverly Hills fire their nannies and learn their children’s names.

…A truckload of Americans are caught sneaking into another country

…When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

…A picture is now only worth 200 words.

What Is A Cat

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What is a cat?

* Cats do what they want.

* They rarely listen to you.

* They’re totally unpredictable.

* They whine when they are not happy.

* When you want to play, they want to be alone.

* When you want to be alone, they want to play.

* They expect you to cater to their every whim.

* They’re moody.

* They leave hair everywhere.

* They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They’re tiny little women in cheap fur coats

This Is Too Funny / Or Maybe Not . . .

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Astronomers At The Parkes Telescope Identified What As The Cause Of Mysterious Interference?

Answer: A Microwave Oven

For over a decade astronomers working with the Parkes Radio Telescope in Australia had been baffled by a mysterious interference in their observations that was difficult to pin down. The researchers took to calling the mysterious signals “Perytons” after the mythical bird-stag hybrid animal found in Jorge Luis Borges’ work Book of Imaginary Beings.

What was most puzzling (and perhaps a bit annoying) to the scientists was that the signal was obviously terrestrial in origin which meant it was of little use to them in terms of research and certainly not an indicator that a distant civilization was transmitting anything. Guesses about the origin of the signal were tossed about with the most prominent hypothesis that it was electrical energy in the atmosphere, that the blips that appeared in their data were caused by lightning strikes.

After seventeen years the mystery was finally solved when, in January of 2015, the facility was outfitted with new interference detection equipment. The source of the unidentified Perytons? The facility’s microwave oven. It turns out that although the microwave oven was properly shielded, if you opened the door while the heating was still under way (as opposed to waiting for the countdown timer to finish and the microwave beam to turn off), a brief burst of microwave radiation was released. While that amount of radiation is not even an issue in terms of safe operation of the microwave, when the radio telescope was oriented toward the facility housing the kitchen that little burst was easily detected as the telescope is designed to detect incredibly faint signals from light years away.

So why didn’t the scientists put two and two together sooner? After all, if someone came back from lunch and their associate was like “Johnson, you won’t believe it, we got another burst of those Perytons while you were away at lunch!”, you’d think eventually someone would go “At lunch you say? Hmmm…” The reason the mystery endured for so long, however, was because most of the researchers worked remotely and the vast majority of the time the microwave was used it was by local support staff who weren’t actively monitoring the telescope.

Image courtesy of the CSIRO Parkes Observatory.