An Open Letter to the GOP

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From the “Chicks On The Right”

Written by  Daisy

Hey there GOP,

I know y’all are busy these days.  There’s that whole midterm election thing happening, and then the chatter about a rematch between Bush and Clinton (anyone have a van full of vodka I can borrow?).  But if you could just listen for a minute to a nobody Mom/wife/author/radio host/columnist/political activist out here in Indiana, that’d be great.

No seriously. LISTEN UP. I’m going to remind you again of something I’ve been screaming at you for ALMOST SIX YEARS NOW…

This is how Democrats win elections.  THIS.

They use a crappy magazine – like Cosmopolitan – and they go on the road with a bunch of “shirtless male models” to try to “persuade female college students to vote this election day.”  Yep. They’re doing that.  They’re going to North Carolina – a swing state – because Democrats know how to get the low-fos.  The low-information voters.  And they get ’em good.

See 2008 and 2012 elections.

Now, I detest Cosmo almost as much as I hate Marie Claire.  But young girls love that trash.  And they eat it up as voraciously as Kardashian spawn inject collagen in their face.

Students at North Carolina State will be offered a ride to the polls on Nov. 4 on “a party bus equipped with snacks, prizes and shirtless male models courtesy of Cosmopolitan magazine,” Technician online – the student newspaper – reports.

This is actually happening.  Because THIS IS WHAT THEY DO.

And in case you didn’t know, “Cosmopolitan has been a reliable proponent of the Obama administration and its policies.”  It’s just slightly left.  HELLO.

I’m not saying that the tactic is remotely classy.  Or even in the realm of tasteful.  At all.  In fact, it repulses me and makes me weep for my daughter’s future here in these United States of America that THIS IS WHERE WE ARE in politics.  This is what the left is doing to get votes.  This is what they have to do, because they can’t rely on substance or character or actual competence anymore.  But it gives one insight into the level of moron that we’re dealing with.  The level of pop culture that politics has sunk to.

Pay attention, GOP.  Wake up. 

Because the right needs to start playing them at their own, sick, twisted, ridiculous game – even just a little – if we want to win elections.  And no – I’m not asking for conservatives to get shirtless male models and parade them around college campuses like Democrats do.  I’m not asking the GOP to make stupid videos that have unattractive, untalented liberal feminists dancing around in granny panties and whining about ladyparts and deforestation as being the most important things Americans are concerned about these days (yeah, riiiiiiiiiiiiight…they’re really mad about trees…mmm hmmm).

I’m just asking for you to pay attention and USE this crap against them.  Use pop culture and social media and everything you have at your disposal – young people included – to make them look like the absolute JOKES that they are.

They are serving the stupid up to you on a platter.  It’s right there for the taking.  USE IT.  Please.

And if you need advice on how to do that, feel free to call the Chicks.  I know y’all love to pretend we’re not here…along with our 700,000+ friends and counting (gained organically, without any advertising, because conservatives are hungry for straight talk, GOP…I digress), but we’re still working tirelessly for you. 

We’ll be over here, waiting for you to call, and we’re happy to help out in any way that we can with that fire-against-fire thing.  Still.

Because damn.  This isn’t brain surgery.  It doesn’t require think tanks.  I’m getting exhausted, and I know I’m not alone. 

Love,
Daisy

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